There are both inappropriate and overused messages of sympathy that should be avoided. The following cliched or insensitive messages may offend, confuse, or generally harm the grieving person. This is not a time to display your own pride or be shallow. Do not use the following ten types of messages of sympathy:

"He had a good life." While this isn't necessarily offensive, it is overused. On top of that, saying that the deceased had a good life may not even be true.
"That is not fair that ________ died. Why did it have to be him? He didn't deserve to die. He was a better man than most. It's just not fair." This type of message honing in on the unfairness only focuses on the pain that the living is already dealing with and doesn't do anything to help with the healing process.
"He is finally getting some rest now. He feels no pain because he is in a better place." This is not necessarily offensive, but rather, again, is cliched and overused. Chances are the receiver has heard these phrases a few times already.
"At least he was able to live a good, pleasurable, full, life. He lived much longer than some." This message is similar to the one above and bringing up the fact that one lived a long life, regardless of how long, is unnecessary because the life is never going to be long enough.
"I know how you feel. You'll get over it. Time heals all wounds." This comes off as insensitive and offers very little consolation to the receiver.
"Try to stay positive. Everything works together for a reason." This may come off as a bit condescending to the receiver. If not that, it's unhelpful to hear in the mourning process.
"At least you're still alive, you have to be grateful for that." The focus should never be on the receiver directly but rather their relationship to the deceased and their mourning process.
"I guess it was just his time to go." Again, this is unhelpful, unnecessary, and insensitive to say this, regardless of its truth (which can't be verified, anyway.)
"You should get over this in a couple weeks. He will be a faded memory and you will move on with your life." While these things may or may not happen, it's again very insensitive to dictate whether someone will "get over" something, especially something as serious and tragic as a death in an arbitrary amount of time.
"I hated the jerk anyway. I'm glad he's dead." Self-explanatory.

How to Write Your Messages of Sympathy

Now that you have some ideas (and know what to avoid) for your sympathy messages, it may be helpful to learn about the actual process of writing those messages. The steps below should help you show your support and sympathy. Here are things to consider and focus on in your writing process:

Express some words of sympathy. Tell the receiver that you are sorry to hear about the loss. You might want to mention some positives of the person who died. An example could read: "I am sorry about John's passing. He was a blessing to me and a good friend for many years." This positive example might make the receiver feel lighter and look back on the deceased even more fondly, which can help with the grieving process.
Express your feelings. Tell the receiver how you feel about the loss. You want your card to read as personal rather than just one in a sea of many that say the same generic thing. This is really more of an empathy than a sympathy section though, as you'll want to try to place yourself in the receiver's shoes by empathizing without pushing it by trying to relate when you can't. Be honest and express your feelings as simply as you can. An example might be: "I was deeply saddened when I heard that he died."
Add words of support. Although sometimes words of support can seem cliché, it is a good idea to include this in your message because you'll want to try to let the receiver know that your support and presence is always available to him or her. This will help the receiver from feeling alone and helpless. An example could be: "I would love to talk or hang out with you some time soon. Just let me know."
Close your message of sympathy. Remember to always finish off your message so that it reads as complete, rather than something abrupt that came off as if you put very little thought into. An example could be: "While I don't know what you need right now, know that my heart goes out to you." Sign it "Kindly," "Warmly," or "Love," depending on who will get it.

If you decide to do anything else with your message besides the above, you may want to review it to make sure it is appropriate. Some things are not appropriate for sympathy cards. Keep the cliches to a minimum, and write in conversational tone. Remember, don't be patronizing and don't ramble.
Sympathy Card Template

If you need a little direction and would like to include more than just a one liner, here's a template that you can use in your sympathy card. See below for a longer, more involved message th